Healer To Healer™

Is this business heaven or business help?

I can't tell if I'm in business heaven or somewhere worse and warmer. 

For two weeks, I've been reviewing and rethinking my business, something we should all do periodically.  As we go through life learning, healing and growing, our realizable Potential expands.  Once in a while (annually is great), you have to take stock: is your business or practice still allowing you to be all you are?  Is it the ideal vehicle for you helping the world in the greatest way possible? 

I'm working through a series of challenging exercises to review what I'm here on the planet to do and what I am doing.  I'm rewriting my mission and vision statements.  I'm re-contemplating the several values my business is based on and making sure I have them exactly right. 

This sounds simple, but it's hard.  (That may be why most folks make the mistake of skipping it.)  This process requires digging into your soul, really deep.  To that place of Truth and YOU-ness that you have spent your lifetime building up protective mechanisms for!  You may have done such a good job of keeping others away, however, that now YOU can't get in!

That's my prob.  I walk clients through these extremely rewarding exercises all the time and find it easy to see their brilliance.  Holding my own hand has been hard.  I have thought of using or have used most of my coping mechanisms today.  (Yes, that includes chocolate. Gave in to that one.)  But I believe strongly in these exercises.  And it does get easier each time. 

So far, the results are thrilling!  I'm redeveloping my teaching institute, which I love, and the new version is stellar!!!!  It really, really allows me to express myself and do what I came here to do.  I will share some details soon.

Life cycles around.  And around.  At higher and higher levels, and deeper and deeper understandings.  Have you revisited your business, products, services, and brand (aka style) recently?  Do you know your life's mission and are you expressing it?  Please share your process with us fellow travellers!!

A parent's illness is like a second adolescence... but worse

My dear friend's mother is failing in health.  What a painful and confusing betrayal it is when our physical bodies and minds fail us.  Like a spouse or soulmate or bff cheating on us -- a big wtf moment. 

When a parent's body or mind declines, the child suffers tremendously too, at any age.  That's because the parent's increasing impairment forces us through a real adolescence, a shift from dependence (on their presence, approval, ideals) to independence.

How does this work?  We all have internalized our parents.  Sometimes we tweak or edit them, but they are definitely STRONG voices in our heads!  (Even absent parents have a strong voice within us.)  Whether they are alive or dead in the physical, we have immortalized them in our inner voice, and we therefore remain their children. 

But answer this: what are they doing in there after we pass age 21?  Why do we carry them around, testing everything we do against their old ideals, the ideals we rejected so enthusiastically? 

(C'mon... you do too.)

Our parent's physical presence is connected to the internal parents we have created.  This means two things.  (1) If you want to create true independence, you have to not only move away from home and establish your own ideals and goals, you must also lovingly let go of your internalized parent. Too few of us do this fully.

(2) When a parent fades in their physical/mental life, it feels like the internal parent is being ripped out of you, forcing you to choose: imaginary dependence or true freedom and independence.  This plunges you into the darkness of not knowing who you really are all over again.  And you thought you ignored that pretty well in your teen years. 

Yep, most of us failed our first adolescence.  I haven't had a healing or mentoring client yet who knows exactly who they are, loves and accepts their parents for whatever best attempt they made at raising them, and has completely let go of needing anything (approval, money, connection, love) from their parents... particularly from the internalized parents.  (And don't think not living with your parent(s) in childhood gets you out of this.)

Adolescence is about attaining complete inner freedom, owning your actions, expressing your inner essence and delightful personality instead of doing what you think other people think you should do.  It's about cleaning your room (house, mind, body, business) NOT to avoid consequences from others, but because you've realized you enjoy a certain level of organization.  It's about fully accepting the parts you DON'T care about cleaning, and letting go of ALL guilt about not meeting someone else's standards with that.

If your life is a struggle to get your gifts out in the world successfully (consistently disorganized, unhappy, unwealthy, confused, jealous, painful, etc.), then I suggest you haven't fully passed through adolescence.  You don't truly know and value yourself.  Actually, I KNOW this.  From my work and from my own life.  And I suggest you get going now, before life pushes you into it in a painful way.

Right?

At its highest, adolescence is a process of attaining SPIRITUAL freedom.  It's about maturing into self-knowing, self-loving, and self-nurturing.  Succeeding at adolescence means shifting from relying on your physical makers and caretakers to relying on your personal spiritual source of sustenance and inspiration. 

It will catch up with you eventually, maybe in your late 30s, 40s, 50s.  What do you stand for?  Who are you after all?  What makes you wonderful?  What are you here to do?  What are your unique gifts and talents?  How can you live a happy life that changes other lives?

When a parent falls seriously ill or dies, it forces you to shift into physical independence, and ideally into spiritual freedom... permanently.  It's hard. 

Or not.  I supose you can choose to stay in denial about your dependence, but the tension between the fantasy you're holding on to and reality will make you miserable.  If you're not ready to look at yourself as a whole, self-reliant person or to take responsibility for bringing your brilliance and value out into the world, the decline or death of a parent can be THE most stressful, painful, messy life phase ever.  And I haven't even touched on the grief issues! 

Have you truly passed through your adolescence?  How can you heal your outlook and fulfill/become your Genuine Self while appreciating all that has happened to you in the past... with healthy detachment... TODAY, on your own schedule?  How can you spiritually stand on your own two feet? Ask this question out loud, and then open to hearing the answer. 

If you want some help, hang out here a while.  Read some articles, ask some questions, and tell us how you're doing.  :) 

I love you.  Go heal.

"The only way to fail at anything is to quit."

-- Sheri McConnell, my business coach/mentor for 2010

Sheri has been empowering women for over 10 years.  She is a powerful Wounded Healer and a highly realized business teacher/coach, especially if you are forming a group or association.  I've had such amazing results already coaching with her that I highly recommend her products and services!  (And just wait 'til I roll out what we've been working on!)  Find her website here at:  http://www.profcs.com/app/?af=1074655   (That's my affiliate link: I will benefit if you purchase anything, thank you.)

The bittersweet truth about calories and unsugar

It's so nice to hear someone other than me saying that calories have NOTHING to do with losing weight. Calories is what happens to food when you put it in a machine and burn it, not a body. I learned this from talking intuitively to bodies. Have you talked to yours recently?

Also good info on un-sugar sweeteners like corn syrup.  This is why healthy people read labels before they buy, darn them!  (No, wait, imitate them!)

"Among all medicines, there are none with the healing powers of love.  Since I came to this realization, I have continued to tell people that immunity is love.  What could be more effective at overcoming negative powers and returning vitality to the body?

However, I have recently felt the need to change my terminology.  I now know that it is not love alone that forms immunity, but love and gratitude."

-- Masaru Emoto

Source: p. 78 in The Hidden Messages in Water, Atria Books, NY, 2005, ISBN 07432-89803.

Got problems? Take another look with this spiritual lesson from a stone

Yesterday, while seeking a book on my shelves, I glanced into my birchbark bowl (say that fast 10 times), and a quartz crystal I'd been ignoring for about 10 years caught my eye.  It's smooth on one side, and has lots of tiny crystals on the other.  Suddenly, I wanted to pick it up. 

So, I did.

Then I wanted to hold it against my chest. 

So, I did. 

It felt good, like that was the best thing to do.  I felt gently whole, somehow.  Mmm. 

Over at my desk and trying to read the book one-handed, I put the stone down next to my computer.  This morning it kept catching my eye, so I finally moved it squarely in front of me. 

I asked it, "Why do you keep grabbing my attention today?"

It didn't say anything.  But I picked it up again and examined the jumble of tiny crystals on one side.  A sparkly mess, each tiny piece at odd angles with the others.  I flipped it over and felt the smoothness of the other side again, not polished, but naturally grown that way, impressively smooth.

Then I got it.  It was the same crystal, from either side.  Depending on how you looked at it, you could see an angular chaotic mess, or an easy, wide, natural surface.

Think you got problems?  Feel chaos in your life?  Here's the lesson:  it's only because of the way you're looking at those problems.  They appear chaotic because of your perspective.  Underneath, that "problem" is innately as smooth as glass... and maybe, dare I suggest, not even a problem.

How can you reexamine your situation, flip it over, to see the natural perfection and ease in it?  From what other viewpoint could you see your challenge as a mere blip, a trifle, nothing to get worked up over? 

If you are reading this, you can apply it in your life.  How can you use this insight to improve life on our fair planet: your life?

Create your best year ever -- spiritually -- in 2010

Happy new year!  What are your goals and hopes for 2010?  We at IIPGH wish for the best and happiest for you and your spiritual journey in the new year, and we would like to share a powerful exercise for spiritual acceleration.

We've put together a short list of bullet points to help you in each of the seven tasks of the spiritual journey.  (Learn more here.)  You can either use this list as an intention-focusing, life-flow device or as a prayer.  Or go through it as a prayer first, then as a life-flow/manifestation/attraction exercise. 

One pass through took us less than 3 minutes.  To make a hugely positive impact on your year, mark your calendar to do this twice a day for two days in a row, or once a day for five days in a row.

1. As a prayer, begin with your favorite opening, or consider:  "Dear God/dess, please open me to receive your divine grace and guidance right now, this year, and always. Forgive me my attachments and self-limitations, and please..." Then use the bullet points, beginning each with "help me to..."  

2. As a life-flow or manifestation exercise, watch your breath for a minute, relax and then begin each line with "I choose to..."

• lose all attachments to past events or things
• forgive all judgments of me, by me and by others, and to lose all attachments to those judgments
• lose fearing criticism or harm from others in the future
• lose the benefits I gain from carrying my past troubles around with me, and [please help me to/I choose to] find those benefits elsewhere
• lose all doubt, lose doubting myself, lose doubting my mission, lose doubting my guidance, lose doubting my abilities, lose doubting my power, and lose doubting God
• lose expecting and requiring the world go the way I think or want it to
• lose all fears that limit my healing effect on the world

• know myself wholly, as I am divinely known 
• fully love and support myself, as I am divinely loved and supported
• know, trust, and step more fully into my spiritual journey
• fulfill my greatest potential for bringing genuine healing to the world and to myself
• build faith and knowingness in my innate ability to perfectly fulfill my spiritual mission
• appreciate the past and carry only its beneficent gifts with me
• surrender to my healing mission and allow it to guide me forward

"I give thanks knowing this is done. Amen."

May these and other blessings come your way in 2010.

Further Resources
To learn more about your spiritual journey, where it leads, and what steps you must take to walk your spiritual path well, connect with your favorite spiritual advisor, or join us for our Awakening Your Inner Healer program from Jan 19-Feb 23, 2010.  The first class is FREE, register here.

Expectations can blind you to healing

It can be limiting to enter a healing situation, as either the practitioner or the seeker of healing, with specific expectations.  We all naturally do this, but it's a very logical (left-brained) way to approach healing, which is distinctly a non-logical (right-brained) phenomenon. 

In other words, healing does not compute.  It is holographic and holistic.  It does not work on just one level or one area -- you experience healing benefits throughout your being, body, behavior, thinking, and life.  Having expectations about your session limits your results by blinding you to seeing and appreciating or even allowing deeper healing in unexpected venues. 

Eric Pearl, founder of The Reconnection, suggests coming to your healing session in a state of expectancy rather than with specific expectations or demands.  Know that it will be good, but don't make specific demands on it.  This wisdom is not limited to healing.  It's also great advice for our spiritual journey and practices as well (a major side effect of which is... well... healing).

I came across a lovely description of this issue over Thanksgiving while rereading The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Riso and Russ Hudson, page 347.  Please enjoy their insights:

"A major obstacle to regular practice is the expectation that we will attain a specific result.  Ironically, this obstacle is a problem especially if we have made significant breakthroughs with our practice.  The personality seizes on breakthroughs and wants to re-create them on demand.  But this is not possible because breakthroughs occur only when we are completely open to the present moment, while anticipating a certain payoff distracts us from such experiences.  In this moment, a new gift or insight is available -- although more likely not the one that was available last week.  Furthermore, the personality may use our breakthroughs as justifications to stop practicing, saying, "Great!  You've had a breakthrough!  Now you're 'fixed' and you don't need to do this any more."

P.S.  Funny story:  I just opened a Dove chocolate as I saved this post, and the saying on the inner wrapper is: "Set your goals high but not your expectations."  :)

Don't bother changing your thoughts

Have you been taught to see your thoughts as "enemies"?  As a bad habit you need to "fix", as the source of illness and imbalance, poverty and unhappiness?  Do you bore yourself repeating positive affirmations so you can develop positive thought habits that eventually can cancel the "bad" ones? 

Stop right now.  (What a relief, eh?)  Read on.

First of all, for several reasons, affirmations don't often work, and I rarely use or recommend them.  One issue is that they are like steering a horse by its tail.  (Believe me, it doesn't work well!) 

My main point is that by seeing your thoughts and feelings as "bad", you polarize yourself against yourself. You lock yourself into a neverending mind battle that limits your personal potential and distracts you from empowering and healing yourself and others.  

Making your mind and its thoughts your enemy LIMITS you living life to the fullest!!!  Bottom line: it can be a form of resistance to your spiritual path.  (And that means resistance to success as a healer.)

Here's why:  Thoughts are a natural byproduct of your logical mind.  It is your mind's job to produce thoughts, as it is your lungs' job to breathe.  Do you watch every single breath to make sure you're breathing "right"?  No, though you may do breathwork periodically for health, and good for you.   

Likewise, to live a good healthy spiritual life full of healing, you don't have to correct and adjust every thought or OUTPUT your mind thinks.

You have to adjust the INPUTS.

What are you inputting into your mind?  Actions based on fear and worries?  Pleasing your internalized parent or teacher instead of honoring your heart?  Maintaining a relationship or job that's not supporting you exploring your full potential?  A long string of fascinating healing classes that help you avoid figuring out what you are meant to DO with them? 

Do you regularly nurture your soul in quiet meditation, contemplation, or prayer?  Do you connect with truly loved ones, nurture your body, love and advocate for yourself, share your unique gifts freely, have fun, enjoy life, get what fulfills you and makes you divinely happy? 

If not, then try this experiement.  Go do that.  Change those inputs.  Reach for fulfilling your life's purpose, your life's healing mission.  And then tell me what happens to your thought patterns after a few months. 

If you need help, the Int'l Institute for Practitioners of Genuine Healing is here to support you in your spiritual journey towards your greatest potential, that of being a conduit and receiver of Genuine Healing. 

I love you.  Go heal.

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